


Hippogriffs of a Herd Must Run Together

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-30
Updated: 2006-12-30
Packaged: 2019-01-23 13:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12508712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: [Fic Exchange '06] The Marauders were gathered in Sirius’s apartment for a night of "good ole Marauders' partying". One would have thought that it would be a full-out party, but a full-out party meant less quality bachelor time. And, despite the lack of a stripper, they were fully prepared to enjoy their last night as bachelors.





	Hippogriffs of a Herd Must Run Together

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Merry Christmas, Kali!**

 

“All right, mates!” Sirius, being his usual self, stood up dramatically with a bottle of butterbeer in his hand. He waved his hands around dramatically, threatening to spill the contents of his bottle. “Since our mate Jamesie boy is about to get married, it’s time we do a little good ole Marauders’ partying."

“Moony, tell me you didn’t let him hire a stripper,” James said, turning to Remus.

Remus laughed. “When Sirius was still planning a huge party for you, he was going to. He decided not to after the girls told him that Lily would curse you into next week if you did.”

“And we convinced him that you were going to have a hundred people at your wedding so you didn’t need all of the blokes from work to come to your party,” Peter added in.

“Smart,” James muttered.

The Marauders were all gathered in Sirius’s apartment, preparing to spend a night of, well, ‘good ole Marauders’ partying’. Most people would have thought that the Marauders would have planned a full out party for their dear friend James, but a full out party meant less quality time while they were all still bachelors. And, despite the lack of a stripper, they were fully prepared to enjoy one of our last nights of Marauder bachelorhood.

“It’s your stag party, Prongs!” Sirius exclaimed.

_Sometimes_ , Remus thought, shaking his head, _I really wonder if there is ever a time when Sirius_ isn’t _drunk_.

Regardless of how far gone Sirius was, they all understood what joke he was trying to make and shared a laugh at how corny his jokes could be. “And it would be inappropriate to invite others to your stag night. For one, they wouldn’t get the joke. And for another… Well, what Wormtail just said. Hippogriffs of a feather must flock together!” All of them laughed again at the look on Sirius’s face. He frowned thoughtfully after a second. “Or is it hippogriffs of a herd must run together? Are hippogriffs flocks or herds?”

“All right, Padfoot, how much did you have to drink _before_ we got over here?” Peter asked, grinning.

“Not all that much,” Sirius replied, grinning too. In truth, the Marauders didn’t need alcohol to act like complete and total idiots. On the outside, they could pull off a front of maturity, but when they were together, it was obvious how much growing up still needed to be done.

Sirius turned his attention back to James. “So, Prongsie boy. How are you feeling? And try to avoid the mushy feelings crap, I want the real stuff.”

James chuckled. "Honestly? I’m bloody nervous as hell."

"Like as nervous as you were when you tried out for Quidditch?" Remus asked innocently. The other two burst out laughing as James shot them a dark look that did nothing to stifle their amusement.

“Merlin, you were so nervous that day,” Sirius said, laughing.

“Is this the time James nearly pissed in his pants?” Peter asked mischievously. "And then—"

“Nearly flew into a pole when they announced that he made the team,” Sirius added. “Yep.” He raised his bottle towards James. “Just stay away from brooms and try to avoid walking into any poles, and you should be just fine, mate.”

James scowled. “What happened to this being a stag party? You know, lots of alcohol and we all get piss drunk while talking about the crazy things we did together?”

“We’re just reminiscing a few old memories, James,” Remus said innocently. The other three had agreed long before James arrived that they were going to do everything they could to remind him of the good old days. In other words, Peter, Sirius, and Remus were planning on embarrassing the hell out of him. Apparently, they were having a successful start.

“As for the hard stuff,” Sirius said, grinning widely, “try looking on the table in the kitchen.”

“Hell yes,” James said, jumping up and going into the kitchen.

“We’ll just tell Lily it’s your own fault when you’re hung-over tomorrow, alright?” Remus called over my shoulder without really turning around.

“It’s my stag night!” James called back. “She won’t care too much!”

“And if she does, it just means that you’ll be a bachelor forever!” Sirius called back. “What’s that phrase the girls always use? Something about fish?”

“There are always more fish in the sea,” Peter offered up. Remus snickered, knowing exactly what Sirius was trying to do.

“Yeah. She’ll just have to go looking for other fish, if she does mind too much,” Sirius yelled in the direction of the kitchen. He smirked at Remus and Peter and held up three fingers in a silent countdown. When he put down the last finger, a sudden collection of swear words came from James’ general direction as what Sirius was suggesting full sank in.

“Not gonna happen, mate!” James yelled, making the others laugh. He walked back into the room, smiling wryly with his arms full of bottles. Faster than they could blink, he chucked one of the bottles at Sirius. Sirius was so used to the gesture that it was easy for him to catch the bottle. He handed two of the other bottles to Peter and Remus before sitting back down. “She loves me too much to ditch me over a drunken night with the guys.”

“I dunno,” Peter said, hiding his grin. “I hear Davies’s still hanging around.” The others managed to stifle our laughs until James sent Peter a look that could kill. After that, they really couldn’t hold it back.

“Remember that time in second year that you tried to beat Davies up?” Sirius asked when they stopped laughing long enough for him to say something. Peter snickered as Remus tried to keep a straight face. Who _didn’t_ remember the time James tried to beat up Davies?

“Very clearly, thanks,” James said in an obvious effort to try and keep Sirius from telling the story. Not that it even works, of course, but a good effort on James’s part.

“Bloke said something to Lily that was slightly insulting, and you decided then and there that you were the only one allowed to make fun of Lily,” Sirius said, clearly enjoying whatever kind of torture he was putting James through by forcing him to remember such stupid memories. He grinned at James. “What did he say, Prongs?”

“Called her a carrot-top,” James said, giving up on keeping the others from embarrassing the hell out of him.

“Ah, yes. That’s the one. Now, if memory serves me correctly, isn’t that what _you_ called her on more than one occasion?”

“Probably.”

“Hmph. Definitely, more like. And you tried to beat up the Davies bloke for doing. Not that he didn’t deserve it, the great prat, but you were just a second year. Davies was a fifth year, and a Beater on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team to boot. All he had to do was hold your head and you couldn’t reach him. Right, Jimmy boy?”

“Sure, Padfoot.” James tried to sound disinterested, but the small smile on his face gave him away. The other Marauders didn’t even both to try and hide their amusement.

“Bloke beat the shit out of you. And our Prongs has never gotten into a fist-fight since then,” Sirius said, adding the last sentence in an overly dramatic tone.

“Learned my lesson the first time,” James agreed, grinning.

“Except for that time you punched Snape,” Remus reminded him.

“Ah.” James grinned widely. “But that time I _won_.”

They spent another couple of hours trading memories and stories until they were all sure they would feel the effects of the party in the morning.

“Damn, I’m going to miss this,” Peter said during a brief silence in the conversation. Peter always was a little nostalgic when he got drunk.

“It’s not like it’s going to be any different from before, Wormtail,” James said, waving his bottle dismissively. “I’ll just have a ring on my finger instead of… just a commitment.”

“They were practically married anyway,” Remus added.

“Aye,” Sirius agreed. “’Sides… what’s that phrase? ‘Bout new opportunities or something?”

“Dunno, but I gotta piss,” Peter announced before unceremoniously getting up and heading to the bathroom. As soon as the door shut behind him, Sirius’s eyes lit up.

“That’s it! When one door closes, two more open. That’s it!”

“What are the two doors opening?” James asked, frowning in mild confusion.

Sirius smirked. “I can think of one.”

“The one Sirius is thinking of, and you’ll be married to Lily,” Remus offered. “That’s two.”

James frowned thoughtfully before nodding with a grin. “Right-o, Moony. Door closing on bachelorhood, doors opening on marriage to Lily and everything else. Sounds like a fair trade off.”

“Dunno if I’d give up bachelorhood,” Sirius said. “Even for everything else.”

“You weren’t _meant_ to be married,” Peter said with a snicker as he walked back into the room.

“Well, James wasn’t _supposed_ to get married,” Sirius said, shooting James a significant look.

James frowned at him for a second before a look of comprehension. “Are you talking about that agreement?” He laughed. “Merlin, I forgot about that.”

“What agreement?” Peter asked.

“We made an agreement when we were younger that we wouldn’t get married and would live together in eternal bachelorhood,” Sirius said, waving his arms dramatically. “No one what bird came along, no matter what she looked like, we would never get married. But _apparently_ James found something worth breaking our agreement over.”

“Sorry, Padfoot.”

“S’okay.” Sirius grinned widely. “I’ll forgive you if you swear to make me the godfather of your kids.”

James laughed. “Sure, Padfoot. Go right ahead.”


End file.
